She put the phone back down on its cradle, softly, almost unwillingly, her cheeks aglow with a sheepish grin. Wil always had that effect on her. Two weeks, two long weeks it had been since she had buried her being in the warmth of Wil’s tight embrace. Wil had gone back to Martha’s Vineyard for their ritual annual family reunion; and she had come back home; A home that felt more alien with each passing semester. Being with Wil had opened up a life she never knew as existent and she wanted to hold on to it with all that she had. She felt like the center of Wil’s universe every single moment Wil was with her and she was growing used to that constant attention spotlight emanating from the love of her life, just for her.
She felt invisible here, unimportant, as if a light bulb had flashed momentarily and been switched off to fall back into nothingness. She hadn’t heard from her dad in a long while; after the divorce, he sometimes remembered to call on birthdays, Christmas and sometimes didn’t. Strangely, she never missed him or acknowledged the lack of a paternal influence. It seemed like nothing had changed. Her brother had chosen to spend his holidays partying with friends in Florida. They seemed to live in parallel universes now. All she managed to get out of him on those infrequent phone calls were a few grunts as a reply to her proprietary queries. He had moved on, too.
And yes, there was her mother. The mother she remembered as being busy working two shifts a day, earning the money their father didn’t bring home; he could hardly hold on to a job for a few weeks. The mother who had given up college for her high-school sweetheart and was so bitter that her heart was so overwhelmed with self-pity and remorse for the dreams that were never to be. The mother who took every opportune moment to emphasize upon every opportunity that they had, and she didn’t.
She didn’t know if her mother saw her spending the holidays at home as a hindrance, (she was dating again) or if she was simply indifferent. “It’s your home, after all, dear. You are welcome to stay here as long as you want. Bring that boyfriend of yours too, Walter or something, right?” And that had been that. If only she knew.
Anyway, she’d hardly seen her mother in these two weeks; she was store manager at Home Depot now, and was out with Josh on almost all evenings. He seemed nice enough, and her mother surely deserved a good turn, after all these years. She’d been more than happy keeping to herself, going on long walks and taking in familiar sights. She couldn’t really think of any friends she could visit. A week left, and then back to college and to the rhythm she would be happy to fall back into.
GaGa blared from her phone disrupting her train of thought. She instinctively reached for it and held it up to her ear; she knew who was calling.”Hey babe, just felt like saying I love you; yeah, I know, just said it like 5 minutes back; but still, I love you more than I did then, my hot mama! Mmmmuah! Gotta go!” And the line went dead.
And she knew it then. This was her moment in her life. This was hers to take, to hold, to nurture, to call her own and have for herself, all her life. Wil was hers to love. And Wilhelmina loved her back, just as much, if not more. If only they knew.
